Friday 14 October 2011

Good Morning

Hey!Good morning

I woke up! What is the date of today? Well, It means nothing. For me now, there're two kinds of days, which are (1) days that my husband goes to work and (2) ones that he does not. Very simple!

So, what to do today? It's even more simple. Things were designed and it has gone for months. Waking up, prepare a combined breakfast and lunch. Then, eating (of course). And then, reading news (at least I want to know what is happening to the rest of the world outsite my appartment). Learning Dutch if I have mood. And preparing dinner for my husband. In the evening, finally I have someone to chat. But be careful, Husband is tired and I should not make him angry. Thus, maybe we chat or I come back with my computer. Reading endlest stories that I could find on Internet.

Oh, who am I? I forget it! I seems to be a pet in my own home!

Husband usually tells me" Try on" and "You should believe me". Well, in reality to believe in something and try/fight for this, we should have some (even a few) promissing points. But I do not! Well, there used to be some points but they had been fading ALL. The points, whether exist or not, are 99% out of my control as they belong to natural facts and 1% of luck when I could create some. That very precious 1% is from my optimistic mind of future. However, I am losing that mind. It means I am losing my 1%. Why??? Hey, If in one day, you have received 3 rejection emails, will you be happy and fun then? Of course not! And if this kind of days repeats very often, still you be fun and have mood to hope? And this kind of days is veryday, still you want to hope?

Let's stop here alittle bit. What happens to me, an jobless Asian in Amsterdam?Why am I typing there meaningless words? Oh, because I am stress and depress! Because I can't stand with that stupid life anymore!!! And because I hate my husband more and more, days by days

I want to be released!!!